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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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After that, I decide to stroll down Rue de l’Industrie. It’s a nice street, ya know? But then I see this guy trying to parallel park. And let me tell ya, it was like watching a bad comedy show. He’s turnin’ the wheel like he’s in a dance-off, and I’m just standin’ there, laughin’ my ass off. Finally, he gets it, but not without bumpin’ the curb like it owed him money. Classic!

Vintage European Holiday Road-Tripping in Luxembourg’s National Car Museum